My first reaction was fairly joyful. Knowing these particular folks and how much I dislike their political and religious views, I was happy to learn that they wouldn't be coming into my restaurant anymore. Not that they were all that regular to begin with. I'm guessing we maybe saw them once or twice a year, but that's probably a stretch. But each time they came in, my stomach would get tight and I had to swallow my true feelings of them in order to follow through on my overriding desire and responsibility to be hospitable, after all that's the business I'm in. Needless to say, I never once confronted them about how much I disagreed with their views on so many topics. Perhaps I should have.PLEASE remove us from you7 e-list as we do not plan to ever eat there again. We do NOT agree with your stand on gay marriage and will NOT support your establishment again Sorry as you were are favorite place to eat in RL
My mind started racing with all the things I could say in response. I shared my ideas with my wife knowing that it was probably wise not to fire off a quick response. Ultimately, I considered that no response was probably the smart play. But no response also meant little to no satisfaction.
Then again a few days ago, I received another email:
We can no longer support your place so please remove us from you ex. group and e-mails. Having felt you were the best place in town to eat this dose make us sad to say the least. However we can NOT give our money to those that approve in supporting gay marriages which is against the LAW of God. Try reading I Cor. 6:8 and following, Rom 1, Lev.11:22 and 18: 22 & 23. We are very sorry about this but we feel VERY strongly about this so will be eating elsewhere.
Clearly, they were expecting a response. Here was my reply:
This whole episode has given me more than enough to occupy my mind and I'll most likely be posting some more thoughts here as I process it through. I'd be curious to know your thoughts too.I’ve been wrestling with whether or not to respond to you and what would be an appropriate way to counter your claim as to why you’re choosing to discontinue dining at Bridge Creek. I’ve actually had more than a bit of fun coming up with a whole host of clever comebacks. These witticisms were grounded in the wide range of emotions that your declaration brought out of me: sadness, joy, anger and frustration, to name but a few. Ultimately I came to realize that sharing any of them with you would have accomplished little beyond momentary satisfaction.Your most recent email suggested that I “try reading” and “following” a few selected verses from the Bible. I have read and continue to read the Bible and if there’s anything I hope to follow, it’s Jesus. I am, however, not willing to read any one verse of the Bible without considering the entirety of the biblical witness. And it’s when I challenge myself to follow Jesus, that I’m most convinced my understanding of sexuality and human relationship reflects God’s promised future. As much as I would wish it otherwise, I also know hardly anything I could say to you, or list of verses I would suggest you read, would have any chance of changing your mind.Your ‘decision’ to stop patronizing our restaurant saddens me as well. It’s not sad because we will miss having you dine with us. I’m sad for you. Not only are you going to miss out on “the best place to eat in town” and “your favorite restaurant,” you’re not going to be able to experience the hospitality that we love to shower upon all of our guests, regardless of their political or religious convictions. I believe if we had taken efforts to make sure our customers opinions matched our own, we wouldn’t have stayed in business for very long. I’m sad for you because the world is going to become a very small place in a very big hurry now that you’re taking this step. I can only imagine that it's must be frightening to be closing yourselves off from so much of this world that God has created.Finally, I will pray for you. I trust that God will strengthen and care for us in the days ahead, keeping our hearts wide open to see others as they are.
If I stopped giving money to people who have different views than I do, I suppose I'd be dead.
ReplyDeletePolite and appropriate response, Peter. You're a good person and your restauraunt will no doubt have a much improved atmosphere without their hateful presence. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI'm not dining at your establishment either... but only because there's no way I can make it to Redwing anytime soon... bit if I could, I'd pitch a tent in your foyer (if you have one) and eat every meal there
ReplyDeleteWell done, Peter. Cast vision, not stones. I feel you are on the track of making the world a bigger place for God's love, not a smaller one. I'm proud to know you. Peace!
ReplyDeleteWe faced this issue on our guest ranch one summer when we were taking gay and lesbian guests. Our Christian crew threatened to quit. We found common ground in the understanding that a sin and a crime are different. A crime calls for intervention. A sin is between our soul and God. Jesus teaches us to hate the sin but love the sinner. We are not even supposed to judge the sinner, just our own behavior.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment and I can certainly appreciate the challenges of working within a close community while holding differing opinions, especially strong ones. I would however like to encourage you to reconsider how sin may or may not enter in to this arena. It’s my belief that if sin is what keeps us from experiencing the benefits of God’s love for us, then human sexuality experienced within a life-giving and loving relationship isn’t sinful. It is in fact quite the opposite and has the power to connect us even more deeply to God’s love experienced in and through those around us. Also, though “love the sinner, hate the sin” isn’t in the Bible, I believe it was Augustine that is credited with that particular theological construction, pieces of which are helpful and pieces that just aren’t. Keep doing the great work you do at the ranch Julia, your guests and your staff are all the better off for it!
DeleteThis reaffirms one of the many reasons we so like you, your family and your restaurant. We're picking a day when we go to RL for no other reason than to eat at the best restaurant in this area. Would that the world had more pastors like you!
ReplyDeleteLet me first say that I disagree with your views on gay marriage. This is a very sensitive topic for me. However, a disagreement on theology, morality, chastity, divinity of marriage between man and woman, etc. Etc.etc...... should not and would not keep me from patronizing your establishment. I have never been there, but I now look forward to eating there. I feel that cutting off a business relationship because of a difference in views is a very cloed minded approach to life and very unlike our savior. He taught people with love. De sat and visited and dined with sinners. If your belief is that the behavior is sinful, do what christ would do and love them anyway. We are all Gods children. He loves us all the same. I am sure that if your food is as good as these people say it is, Jesus would be happy to dine with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for adding your perspective Heath. We'll look forward to hosting you at Bridge Creek sometime soon.
DeleteAs a frequent visitor I will be dining with you MORE OFTEN!
ReplyDeletePeople make choices everyday, be thankful they've made the choice not to return, and your response to their hateful stance just means the rest of us won't have to sit next to them. Good job
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